Have faith


 Picture courtesy : pixabay.com

We are a generation always in the search of quick-fixes.So in that quest google is the winner and we all have become mini-engineers,doctors, plumbers and what not. Once a handyman in Bahrain had screamed at us,’Jiska kaam hai usper chhodd jiye'( Leave the work to the person who does it) when we had suggested something. That is how ‘intelligent’ we have become.

But there is one thing which does not have any quick fixes or rather has one but we can talk about that later. And what is that? Our karma. What is written in our fate has to be lived. Or in other words what we sow,we reap. The punya( good karma) and the paap(bad karma) keep on accumulating and from time to time we keep on enjoying/suffering the reactions. There is no shortcut; if it is suffering you suffer, no escape from it.

Very often we say,’you should have faith in the medicine for it to work’. Especially when you are taking homeopathy or ayurvedic medicines. Similarly when going through a low phase like suffering losses or bad health many people give you some remedies. Chant this, do that, do this. And you do. if you do it is fine but don’t do anything halfheartedly. Do it if you believe, if you have shraddha in what you are doing.

When the ‘jiva’ that is the frag-mental piece of the Lord wanted to enjoy the world by itself, this whole material world was created. But along with the world, the Lord also gave out solutions. He knew that someday we would have enough of this material world and would want to go to our eternal world and so he gave remedies. Our vedas are full of remedies, you want health, worship this demi God, you want wealth worship that demi God and so on. So when you are in need someone suggests some remedies; chant this, do this,; don’t turn up your nose because our Vedas do give us solutions. And these solutions do reduce our sufferings or problems BUT only if you have shraddha or faith..

We say follow your dreams but you can follow dreams only if you have faith.

We take paracetamol for fever because we have faith on it.

Similarly if someone is suggesting some remedy, do it only if you have faith in it.

As I said earlier, there is no escape from karma. And these remedies just reduce the intensity. But there is one permanent remedy from all that and that is chanting of the holy name. But that too needs shraddha. Chant the holy name and see all your karmas dissolve and go back to your eternal home where there is no suffering. That is the only quick fix to escape karma.

tam eva saranam gaccha
sarva-bhavena bharata
tat-prasadat param santim
sthanam prapsyasi sasvatam
O scion of Bharata, surrender unto Him utterly. By His grace you will attain transcendental peace and the supreme and eternal abode. (BG 18.62)




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Filed under free writing, short musings

From ignorance to light

Life throws up surprises every now and then. Like you are doing good in your job and suddenly the business shuts shop. Or you are a businessman but you suffer multiple losses. Life can be so unpredictable. Like you are happy, you have finished with your responsibilities and you want to relax and suddenly you discover that you have a lump which is not just a lump.

No, this is not about me.

When I read blogs I often feel it unrealistic. We write about the urban upper class but what about the towns and the villages. Isn’t there a story there.

What about common life, why has it become so uncommon?Quotefancy-1520040-3840x2160

As I said earlier there is so much to write about in the mundane.

I think about life, the ordinary struggles and the shocks and the surprises we keep getting now and then and I want to unravel the mystery.

I know a lady who has raised her two children singlehandedly. her husband is somewhere. I do not know whether her husband was an alcoholic or abusive or both. I never asked. I didn’t want to hurt her anymore than what she was already hurting. But heard that her husband used to come now and then demand money, take and leave.Until one day her son now grown up and earning, threw him out and threatened him.

Out of curiosity I had asked her son once, why your mother tolerates him. He just replied mother can never refuse beggars.

And then it hit me. She was not tolerating him, neither was she doing it as a sense of responsibility. She was doing it as a duty. the duty of a human not a wife; of helping those who are needy. was she right, was she wrong? I am not going to judge her but I realised that every scene has so many angles.

Life when it wants just to show some angles, it throws some surprises. And then the Lord, the witness watches how we deal with it. I look back at my journey from March 31st 2004 and see how I have evolved and with all humility I bow down and hope that I have evolved well. It was that day I discovered that I had pituitary adenoma which subsequently lead me to partial darkness and the knowledge that I have to be on support of external hormones but it has led me to an absolutely delightful journey of self discovery. A discovery which earlier I may not have embarked upon earlier. Have I been good or have I been bad, I will not judge but the fact is that today I am grateful that I had the chance to see so many ups and downs to discover myself.

Someone very dear is going through the same trials. I just hope that she too takes this opportunity to discover self.

The shloka in my mind:

tesam evanukampartham aham ajnana-jam tamah
nasayamy atma-bhava-stho jnana-dipena bhasvata
Out of compassion for them, I, dwelling in their hearts, destroy with the shining lamp of knowledge the darkness born of ignorance. (BG 10.11)







Filed under free writing, Lessons, personal, realization

My friend

As I shed tears, the better half asked,’ Do you want to please Krishna, yourself or the others?’ I stopped myself and thought hard.

this is not something new. Call me emotional or call me sensitive but I get hurt easily. Any relationship/friendship I put my 100% and then when I don’t see the same reciprocation, I get hurt.

Apart from the fact that I am a straight forward person, the other problem is that I get attached and the normal course when you get attached is that you start expecting. Now attachment with Expectation is a lethal combination. And try as I might,it is impossible for me at least at this juncture to remain unattached.

Now you may wonder why this  rant. Well as it always happens I try to do the maximum for the family and friends but when I see them backbiting or let us say when things do not go as per my expectation I get upset. And as usual the tears flow

Being able to cry anywhere is a strength.  Not a weakness.  I'm not scared of feeling my emotions. I don't feel the need to hide and bottle them up. I AM a strong woman BECAUSE I cry.

courtesy: https://goo.gl/images/q5WESu

But then the husband said, ‘who are you trying to please?’ And that made me think. It made me think of this shloka.

gatir bharta prabhuh saksi
nivasah saranam suhrt
prabhavah pralayah sthanam
nidhanam bijam avyayam
I am the goal, the sustainer, the master, the witness, the abode, the refuge and the most dear friend. I am the creation and the annihilation, the basis of everything, the resting place and the eternal seed.(BG 9.18)

I always get a lot of strength from this shloka. Over a period of time  I have realised there is nobody that is truly yours. In numerous instances you will find that your parents,your siblings, your spouse, your children and your friends all have different agendas. Though they may be with you theoretically, they are not really yours. The only person who is truly with you, with your ups and downs, being your witness, and giving you strength is the Parmatma. He guides you too that is if you are ready to listen. As soon as I this realisation came, I felt peaceful, the tears dried and I was ready to face the world again.



Filed under free writing, realization, Uncategorized

I shall NEVER run away

Continued from here

Harish spent the whole night tossing and turning. What would Suresh do, would his wife return were his prime concern. It was only in the early  morning that he could finally sleep.

When he woke it was to find that it was bright and sunny. He checked his watch and got a shock, it was 8.30 am. He jumped. He had thought of waking at least by 6 and opening the shop for his milk customers.

‘Amma pack my breakfast,I will have it in the shop’, he yelled.

‘But why?’, she yelled back.

‘I have to open the shop, customers will be waiting  for milk.But wait if the shop is closed where the vendor will keep the crates’, he yelled

‘Whatt…..why you want to go. Suresh is already there’, said Amma.

Harish stopped and went to the dining area where his mother was having breakfast and reading newspaper. ‘Anna came?’, he asked

‘Yes, he came at 4, had his bath and left.Your father has gone there now to give him breakfast.’, she said

‘Vanhi??’, he asked

‘I didn’t ask Harish, didn’t want to bother him early in the morning’, she said.

Harish went to the shop around 11.30. There weren’t any customers. Suresh was taking stock of the milk packets sold that day. He looked at Harish and smiled.

‘How are you Anna’, he asked

‘I am perfectly fine’, he said and looking at him said, ‘You are asking about yesterday right’.

Harish nodded.

‘Sumati felt that all are ganging up together to keep me and her separate’. he said.

‘We never had that intention’, Harish said

‘That is what I told her. I told her how I had lost my job and how after numerous trials I didn’t get another. And how you got the idea of operating this shop. I told her how for our future I had to work hard now. And when we save a little we can go for vacations….’

‘She listened/’, Asked Harish.

‘She had to. I also told her that for amma she is like a daughter, so if she too treats amma like her mother, all will be fine’, said Suresh.

Harish looked at Suresh in wonder. ‘So much change’, Harish thought, ‘God is merciful upon me.’

‘I think all this is because we haven’t given any responsibility to her. As we know idle mind is a devils workshop. So I am going to ask amma to involve her at home. Also, I am going to ask her to bring breakfast for me. There is so much rush in the morning, she will help me. What do you think? Am I right?’, asked Harish

‘Yes, you are’, said Harish. At that moment some customers came. As Suresh was taking their order, his phone rang, he signalled to Harish to take over. By the time the customers left, Suresh had finished with the call.

‘Amma’s call’, he said, ‘Sumati’s parents have brought her back. I will go home now’, he said.

Harish looked on happily. ‘Is this an end or a beginning’, he thought,’I always wanted to run away, afraid of problems. But then the sweetness of success is it because we overcome our problems or is it because we tried and didn’t buckle under pressure. But most important, would I have this feeling of achievement if I were alone.  Would I have the love and blessings of everyone if I were alone. No. Sure being together has a lot of problems but much more than that is this feeling of love and togetherness’.


karmany evadhikaras te ma phalesu kadacana
ma karma-phala-hetur bhur ma te sango ‘stv akarmani
You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.

As this very famous shloka says we have to perform our prescribed duty and not bother about our result. Or in other words, don’t bother about the destination but enjoy the journey. Life will never be without problems face them. Running away  whether to another place or in some cases taking away one’s life is never a solution.


I am taking part in BAR-A-THON Edition 3
The theme is RUN. I hope you enjoyed this yatra as much as I enjoyed writing it.



Filed under Short sotyr, Slices of life

I should have run away

Continued from here

Suresh came by 5 and told,’You can leave now Harish I can manage, go watch a movie with friends.’

‘I am going to meet Guruji’, he said.

‘Too matured for his age’, muttered Suresh under his breath.

When Harish reached Guruji’s place, Guruji was watering his plants. When he saw Harish he was happy and immediately hugged him.

‘You know Harish when I first met you, you were like a wild flower. Tempestuous, angry and rebellious. Then slowly you became receptive, just like this plant. You know this shrub was wild; then I pruned it, gave some manure, watered it and it began flowering.  Looking at you I feel so proud Harish and definitely your parents feel so too.’

Harish was uncomfortable, he didn’t know how to receive compliments. And then he said, ‘All because of you Guruji or else I would be roaming around in some street smoking ganja and what not.’

Guruji looked at him closely and said, ‘the storm is over, is it?’

‘Seems so’, answered Harish and explained the events of the past few days.

‘My good Lord….are you hurt Harish……’

‘I am perfectly fine Guruji, I escaped unharmed’, replied Harish,’ But Guruji, so much anger that you want to hurt someone else without thinking about the consequences?’

‘When we want something very badly, we develop an attachment to it, and eventually when such attachments do not materialise anger generates. It is all very logical. Have you seen a child demanding for candy in a supermarket?’

Harish nodded.

‘First it will look at the candy, then he declares that he wants it, then when he doesn’t see his parents relenting, he will roll on the floor and eventually when still his parents don’t yield, then he will scream to pull everyone’s attention and even then if he is not heard then he will start punching his parents. We never grow up really. Only our desires change and maybe our methodology of acquiring our desires………When there is anger your sense of judgement deserts you’.

Harish was engrossed but then his phone rang. It was Suresh, he took the call.

‘Harish, I know I asked you to take a break but you have to come to the shop now. It is urgent’, and before Harish could say anything the call was disconnected.

Harish took leave from Guruji and rushed.

‘As soon as he reached the shop Suresh started to leave, Harish asked what the matter was and he replied…’Sumati has left home’.

The rest of the evening was spent in a haze, ‘God……. is there any end to our troubles. Just now Anna was becoming serious and now this. If God forbid Anna falls back to his old ways, then what…’ A hundred questions battled in his mind and yet he went on working mechanically.

When he reached home he saw his parents in a sullen mood. Suresh was at his in-law’s place.

‘What happened amma’. he asked.

‘Nothing much actually. As you know Sumati doesn’t do any work at home. The whole day she would be lazing around, playing on her mobile and watching Television. Today Mrs. Shetty had come to visit, I just asked Sumati to bring a glass of water. She just got up and went to her room. Later on I asked her why she didn’t get water and she started screaming that all we thought of was to make her a maidservant just as we had made Suresh our servant. I told her that Suresh had improved and in fact become responsible. She said that, that was our plan to make Suresh busy in the shop so that he would be far from her……Next I saw her packing her bags and leave. I asked her to stop but she didn’t listen. Then I called Suresh. Now he has gone to talk to her, most probably he will stay there. i just hope he doesn’t stay there only from now on…’

‘Don’t talk nonsense, give food to Harish and then let us sleep. Out staying awake will not change anything’, said his father.

Harish lay awake thinking. relationships are so complex difficult to handle, better to run away and stay alone somewhere.

to be continued

We all need a Guruji, in our lives, someone who can guide us and lead us to the right path. It is very important to have an inquisitive mind to ask the right question to the right person. Then only we will find answers to life’s secrets.

tad viddhi pranipatena pariprasnena sevaya
upadeksyanti te jnanam jnaninas tattva-darsinah
Just try to learn the truth by approaching a spiritual master. Inquire from him submissively and render service unto him. The self-realized soul can impart knowledge unto you because he has seen the truth. (BG 4.34)

Harish is fortunate to have a Guruji who is always there to answer his questions and to guide him but the thought of running away is always in his mind. Maybe he longs for a Utopian world where there is no rife. He has to understand that there are going to be problems but as long as there are solutions. life is fine.

I am taking part in BAR-A-THON Edition 3
The theme is RUN



Filed under short story, Slices of life

Run….who Me?

Continued from here

Harish felt some movement so he ducked. As soon as he ducked, the assailant  lost his balance and fell on Harish’s right shoulder. Suresh who had been observing Harish came and pounced on the assailant taking care that his knife didn’t hurt him. The neighbouring shop fellow also came and both nabbed him. They then dragged him to the shop and pulled off his mask.

It was Dinesh.

Meanwhile the neighbour had called for the police. The police arrested Dinesh. And they all went to the police station. Harish called Mr. Ranga too.

There was no escape for Dinesh, there were enough witnesses.

Under the police coercion Dinesh confessed. From a long time,he had been duping gullible retailers. Some calculation mistake, some extra packets and he would make some money on the side. All because he had the habit of gambling. It was a matter of irritation for Dinesh when Harish insisted on cheque payments and receipts.He was losing both ways.Otherwise he could have made some money at least while paying commission. That day when he saw Suresh at the shop, he had thought that he could fool him. But thanks to Harish, Suresh had written the amount in a book and it had not matched with the receipt. Not only that Harish told about this to Mr.Ranga which had eventually led to online payments. And that is why Dinesh felt angry. And he wanted to take revenge.

By the time the investigation was over it was quite late. Dinesh was locked up. Mr. Ranga offered to drop everyone home in his car. ‘Mr.Ranga, is Dinesh married’, asked Harish.

‘Yes, he is, he has two kids too’, answered Mr. Ranga

‘I wonder what will happen to them’, said Harish.

‘Yes, One person commits crime, the family suffers’, answered Mr. Ranga. And he continued, ‘But don’t worry, I will see how I can help. I heard that his wife is working somewhere but I will sponsor the kids school fees, it will be a little help to them’.

Both brothers spent the night in quiet contemplation.

Next afternoon when Harish went to the shop, he saw an agile Suresh. His brother was calm but you could feel that there was a shift in his attitude.

After sometime Suresh got ready to leave. Harish asked, ‘You are different today, what happened?’

Suresh gave a sheepish grin and then send, ‘Whole night I have been thinking. I want my family to be proud of me. I don’t want to be like Dinesh. So I will work hard and learn everything’. And he left.

But then he returned and said,’yesterday I had asked you to take a break but it was interrupted. You need not come in the night, I will handle, you go out somewhere’

Harish smiled. All his efforts for the past so many months was fructifying now.Who wants to run away from such a loving brother, he thought

He too had been thinking a lot. Why does man become so greedy. So greedy that they want to take advantage of others. Whereas  the truth is that there is no shortcut to success. It is only hard work all the way. ‘Today evening I will go to Guruji’s place and discuss with him’, thought Harish.

The afternoon passed quickly and Harish was excited to be again going to meet his beloved Guruji. Everything looked better now. Suresh had changed and was taking responsibility, ‘now everything would be alright’, thought Harish.

But then universe always has some other plans.

to be continued

The Bhagavad Gita tells us how our desires trap us. Our desires ultimately lead us to anger.

dhyayato visayan pumsah sangas tesupajayate
sangat sanjayate kamah kamat krodho ‘bhijayate
While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.(BG 2.62)
Here Dinesh has an excessive desire for money because he wants to gamble. And when he sees that because his desire will not be fulfilled from now on because of Harish, he  is angry and wants to take revenge.

So does that mean we have to  be desireless. No,not at all. But one should know what kind of desires you can have and to what extent.

I am taking part in BAR-A-THON Edition 3
The theme is RUN




Filed under short story, Slices of life

Why did I want to run away

Continued from here

It was late in the night. Harish had asked his brother not to come to the shop. He wanted some alone time.It was better to be in the shop than to be at home.

‘Take this Rs 100 balance from morning’,  it was Manoj.

‘What balance?’ asked Harish

‘Morning I had wanted some provisions urgently but didn’t have enough cash. So the balance of Rs. 100…your brother had noted it down in the red book’, said Manoj.

And indeed Suresh had noted that Rs 100 was outstanding from Manoj. Harish  was satisfied that slowly Suresh was learning. He used to tell him repeatedly to note things down as our mind tends to forget. Suddenly something clicked and he asked, ‘ Manoj were you here when Dinesh came?’

‘Who Dinesh?’, asked Manoj

The one who comes for collection from dairy’, said Harish.

‘I don’t know that but yes when I came in Suresh was handing over money to a man’, said Manoj.

‘Were you there when that person said no to cheque and asked for cash?’, asked Harish.

‘Err…no, I was there when Suresh was handing money and then he said, here take this six thousand eight hundred eighty Rupees’, said Manoj

Harish was beaming widely

‘Why are you grinning like that?’, asked Manoj

Harish explained everything and then asked, ‘Will you come with me to the dairy tomorrow morning Manoj?’

‘Of course, I will’,said Manoj

Harish closed down in a happy mood.

Next day both Harish and Manoj went to the dairy at 10 am. Harish explained that Manoj had seen Dinesh in the shop the previous day. Mr Ranga immediately called Dinesh.

Upon Dinesh’s arrival it was explained that Manoj  had seen Dinesh in the shop and heard the conversation between him and Suresh.

‘So?’, asked Dinesh,’ Has he seen me asking for cash and not cheque. I say that Suresh insisted on giving cash and I obliged. As to me taking RS.6880 instead of 5880, what proof does this person have? This person is your friend Harish, so he must be helping you.’

There were lot of accusations back and forth. And all the while Mr. Ranga was silently observing Dinesh. Then ultimately he said,’Harish, nothing can be done now, just ask Suresh to be careful now onwards’.

There was nothing else to be done. Manoj and Harish returned.

After sometime there was a message from Mr. Ranga. ‘I understand that Dinesh is lying but at present I cannot do anything. Don’t be disheartened Harish but be more cautious from now on.’


But from that day on Harish was disheartened. His faith in people has reduced. On the other hand Suresh has turned for the better. He is much more serious. It is as if the episode  was the bitter pill that Suresh needed.

And  another good turn was that Mr. Ranga announced that from now they will get fortnightly bill by email, which they could check and then pay online.

Harish’s mood improved.

Next Sunday ,it was raining heavily. There were not much customers when Suresh stepped into the shop,  Harish was surprised because generally he saw to it that his Anna and Vanhi spend Sunday evenings together.

‘Harish Go take a break.’, said Suresh and then on seeing the surprised look on his face he continued,’You have been working too hard, go relax, I will handle today’

Harish was truly happy and thought ‘And I was thinking to run away from such a brother’.

He took an umbrella  crossed the road and turned right when suddenly he felt a movement….

to be continued

In life sometimes we have to keep on endeavouring even though we do not see any end or any success in our endeavours. Sometimes it is just important to keep on working without worrying about the outcome and then suddenly like a streak of lightening there will be a ray of hope

yoga-sthah kuru karmani sangam tyaktva dhananjaya
siddhy-asiddhyoh samo bhutvasamatvam yoga ucyate
Be steadfast in yoga, O Arjuna. Perform your duty and abandon all attachment to success or failure. Such evenness of mind is called yoga.(BG 2.48)

The shock of loss had been too much for Suresh and he turned  for the better and that was the ray of hope for Harish who had been working tirelessly and hoping for such a change

I am taking part in BAR-A-THON Edition 3
The theme is RUN





Filed under short story, Slices of life