Category Archives: realization

Understanding marriages-1

I have been a person who has rarely bothered with looks. As a child or a teen my only visit to the saloon has been to get a haircut, that’s it. Later after repeated failures in job interviews it suddenly dawned on me that I had to be presentable. It is only then that I started visiting a saloon regularly and started using a lipstick and kajal.  My wardrobe has also been simple. Basic clothes which are simple and comfortable. No,I do not mean to demean anybody who loves to dress up. The purpose of the prologue is to show my own follies. My wedding was the first (and the last time)time I went in for a facial. But otherwise there was barely any makeup. I was fortunate enough that my better half shared my views and endorsed my simple living.

Why these thoughts you may ask?

The past  few months I have visited many weddings of our own community and the show and the pomp has dazzled me to say the least. There has been a gross ‘bollywood’isation of weddings. Now weddings are a five-day ritual. One day is for ‘mehendi’, the next is for sangeet, the third day is the ‘phool muddi’ grossly translated to flowers and ring. Actually it is the welcome of the grooms party and introductions. Fourth day is the actual wedding and the fifth day the grooms family may have a satyanarayana vrata at their home if they so wish. And while the sangeet and the mehendi  are elaborate the actual wedding rituals are rushed.

I understand the need for mehendi. My community does not have a ritual of mehendi but now it is common. I endorse it. If the bride wants to have it, why not. My real objection is not to have a show of it. Is it really necessary to have a hall booked for it and the accompanying decorations, the dress etc. Same goes for the sangeet. The arrangements, the coordinated costumes, the choreography….is it all needed? So much of pomp and so much of valuable resources wasted. My nephew says it is the ‘insta’ culture. Your friends have done it and so do you. But what about those who want to do it but can’t afford to? Either they or their parents take up a loan or blow off their life savings. Which makes me come back to my original question, ‘Is so much of pomp needed?’ Which also makes me wonder where are we actually heading. It also lead me to read a little about what actually is a grhasta ashram. What is the need of marriage and is there any real significance of wedding rituals.

Firstly we are spirit souls. This body is an outer covering given to us for God realisation.

The soul does not have a gender, This body has. Those who had less God consciousness got the body of a female. For God realisation we must have the mood of rendering service. The females have more propensity of servitorship hence the body of a female to those less inclined to bhakti. It DOES NOT mean that the males are superior. Each has its own set of duties/ dharma for God realisation.

Each has freedom to dress up as they wish to. By dressing up I mean the use of make up. Make up has been in used right from the olden days. Only difference being that the ingredients of make up were home-made and natural as compared the chemical ones in vogue now. Provided that their inclination does not lead them away from the purpose of life which is God realisation.

Each house had its own gym. Yes, you heard it right. By the time you milked the cows,ground your grains or ground your masalas, you would have had your required amount of cardios. And of course you walked everywhere you wanted. So there was no real need of physical training.

Yes, there used to be sangeet. The sangeet was more of bhakti based dance. When you used to dance to kirtan in gay abandon and not to some choreographer’s instructions.

The purpose of a man and a woman coming together is not just to procreate but to serve. As I have mentioned in my previous posts, the grhastas have to serve the brahmacaris, and the vanprastis .

More in the coming weeks………

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are  my own and do not  mean to offend anyone.


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Filed under realization, Slices of life

Time to be thankful

Days have not been good, eh? The devastating floods and then we hear about the shootouts. One natural and one man made…or is it?

When I look around here that is Bahrain I wonder, when will nature demand its place. For every where I see mass construction, filling up of sea, creating artificial islands. Why are we trying to become God? When the creator created the world with 75% water. He must have had his reasons. Who are we to tamper with it?

You may say that the flooding of Chennai is due to poor planning. The drainage system has not been upgraded, the lakes have shrunk and in some cases disappeared altogether; my question remains who are we to tamper with nature?

There is a beautiful shloka:

bhoktaram yajna-tapasam
suhrdam sarva-bhutanam
jnatva mam santim rcchati (BG 5.29)
The sages, knowing Me as the ultimate purpose of all sacrifices and austerities, the Supreme Lord of all planets and demigods and the benefactor and well-wisher of all living entities, attain peace from the pangs of material miseries.
The entire world belongs to the Lord. We are those who live here till the time we are good enough to go back to the spiritual world. Then why do we try to horde things or lord over mundane objects.
Many of us have multiple houses while many more spend their whole loves just for a place which can shelter them. Some have wardrobes full of clothes  and some can’t afford a single new pair.
If all of us could be satisfied with the essentials, there is enough for everyone. Nature actually produces enough for everyone. But then some decide to horde and some cannot afford.
Many stories are heard about how Hindus helped Muslims, how people opened their homes, it would be good if we thought of nature too sometimes and how we are abusing it.
And let us all remember that nothing is really ours and be thankful for whatever is given to us.



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Isha Vasyam

I was rearranging my wardrobe when I chuckled to myself. The reason being that only the previous night I had remarked to the better half that I just had to go for shopping as I had nothing to wear. And here I was struggling to bring orderliness to a bulging wardrobe.

Urmila Mataji (Dr.Edith Best), an academician, a teacher; a person whom I admire very much once said in one of her discourses that we all have something more than what we require. So true!! Three simple meals a day, two pair of clothes for outdoor wear and two for indoors, a pair of shoes are enough. But then do we stop there.

And there are abundances in plenty. One lady owned 3000 pair of shoes. A CM trebled her assets in four years. Some have villas all over the world and then there are some who don’t even have a square meal a day.Talk of extremes………

The Isopanishad says

īśāvāsyam idam sarvaṁ
yat kiñca jagatyāṁ jagat
tena tyaktena bhuñjīthā
mā gṛdhaḥ kasya svid dhanam

Everything animate or inanimate that is within the universe is controlled and owned by the Lord. One should therefore accept only those things necessary for himself, which are set aside as his quota, and one should not accept other things, knowing well to whom they belong.
Such a sweet verse isn’t it? Whatever exists in this universe belongs to the Lord. It is something like this….When we visit someone and stay with them, we use whatever we need not whatever we fancy. Like for example we will eat with them, use their space but we will not wear their clothes because….it is not ours. Similarly when we take birth our duty is to use only those things which we need for sustenance. Everything belongs to everybody.
Picture a father who brings a dozen mangoes for three of his children. So ideally each child should get four mangoes. But what happens if one child eats all the mangoes? Imbalance right?
Same thing is happening to the world right now. A few powerful men are tring to gather everything for themselves forgetting that everything is for everyone and not just for them alone.
The doubt may come that how can I survive with just the basics? Just like parents look after all the needs of the children, simlarly the Supreme Lord sees to it that we get whatever we need, Simple, isn’t it?


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He takes care


I read this quote yesterday and it filled me up with joy. Each day is such a miracle isn’t it. We are almost in a ‘death’ like situation when we sleep at night and we awake to sunshine. I live in a place which is a modern miracle. I mean looking at the hi tech buildings here who can imagine that once upon a time it was a desert and camels moved about freely. Yes it is a man-made place but who gave the intelligence to create this wonder

I see my boy who once meowed like a kitten and today is an independent boy. How did that transformation come about?

The trees which flower, the trees which give fruits, how do they do so?

The soul which moves my body. From where did it come?

And sometimes when I look at myself and wonder……

Very few people who are around me know that I am visually impaired. I am not blind but I have restricted vision. I move about, I am independent. Many ask me why I don’t drive because I want to do so many things and it is better to be mobile. I just smile and say that I will never get a license.

I remember going to a ophthalmologist because I was having recurring headaches. He was mortified after checking me and in fact I had to counsel him. Vision only in the upper quadrants of the right eye and in upper right quadrant in the left is not a bright proposition is it?

Many of my friends have started wearing spectacles and the other day I was wondering what I will do when my vision deteriorates for wearing specs is not an option for me at all. In fact specs are more of a hindrance because my right eye looks at extreme lefts and my left my extreme rights. And it made me very upset. The future for people like me can be quite daunting. But then I remembered this

Mukam karoti vacalam

Pangum langhayte girim

yat-krpa tam aham vande

parmananda madhavam

The Supreme Personality of Godhead-Madhava has the form of sac-cid-anandavigraha — transcendental bliss, knowledge and eternity. I offer my respectful obeisances unto Him, who turns the dumb into eloquent speakers and enables the lame to cross mountains. Such is the mercy of the Lord. (Caitanya Caritamrita Madhya 17.80)

And I became sober again.

He puts the soul in the womb. He gives consciousness, He makes us walk, He gives intelligence, He guides us, He supports us, Why then I have to worry. He has taken care of me for so long, he will look after me in the future too.

I may have lost my vision but what is more important is that I don’t lose my ‘vision’.

That the Lord is my savior and me his faithful follower. …..

Rest He will take care.


Filed under personal, realization