Tag Archives: BG 10.11

From ignorance to light

Life throws up surprises every now and then. Like you are doing good in your job and suddenly the business shuts shop. Or you are a businessman but you suffer multiple losses. Life can be so unpredictable. Like you are happy, you have finished with your responsibilities and you want to relax and suddenly you discover that you have a lump which is not just a lump.

No, this is not about me.

When I read blogs I often feel it unrealistic. We write about the urban upper class but what about the towns and the villages. Isn’t there a story there.

What about common life, why has it become so uncommon?Quotefancy-1520040-3840x2160

As I said earlier there is so much to write about in the mundane.

I think about life, the ordinary struggles and the shocks and the surprises we keep getting now and then and I want to unravel the mystery.

I know a lady who has raised her two children singlehandedly. her husband is somewhere. I do not know whether her husband was an alcoholic or abusive or both. I never asked. I didn’t want to hurt her anymore than what she was already hurting. But heard that her husband used to come now and then demand money, take and leave.Until one day her son now grown up and earning, threw him out and threatened him.

Out of curiosity I had asked her son once, why your mother tolerates him. He just replied mother can never refuse beggars.

And then it hit me. She was not tolerating him, neither was she doing it as a sense of responsibility. She was doing it as a duty. the duty of a human not a wife; of helping those who are needy. was she right, was she wrong? I am not going to judge her but I realised that every scene has so many angles.

Life when it wants just to show some angles, it throws some surprises. And then the Lord, the witness watches how we deal with it. I look back at my journey from March 31st 2004 and see how I have evolved and with all humility I bow down and hope that I have evolved well. It was that day I discovered that I had pituitary adenoma which subsequently lead me to partial darkness and the knowledge that I have to be on support of external hormones but it has led me to an absolutely delightful journey of self discovery. A discovery which earlier I may not have embarked upon earlier. Have I been good or have I been bad, I will not judge but the fact is that today I am grateful that I had the chance to see so many ups and downs to discover myself.

Someone very dear is going through the same trials. I just hope that she too takes this opportunity to discover self.

The shloka in my mind:

tesam evanukampartham aham ajnana-jam tamah
nasayamy atma-bhava-stho jnana-dipena bhasvata
TRANSLATION
Out of compassion for them, I, dwelling in their hearts, destroy with the shining lamp of knowledge the darkness born of ignorance. (BG 10.11)

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under free writing, Lessons, personal, realization

From darkness to light

In a foul mood I went banging doors and slamming things. Yes, I do such absurd things or sometimes just yell. It takes the stress away. And I get back to normal, Nowadays I just yell ‘Krishnaaaa’ and then calm down. But today I didn’t do any yelling. I was too stressed to do even that. No, nothing very critical. Just that water supply in our building sometimes plays errant. No water and I get tensed up. I start imagining all sorts of troubles eventually leading to my bad karma and my ‘sufferings’.

Yes, I tend to be melodramatic.

Today I didn’t yell. Nor did I blame my karma. Today my position was of a warrior who has accepted defeat even before the war has begun.

I went about folding clothes, arranging cupboards when I looked around and saw the lighted ‘diyas’ at the altar.

I love the sight of diya (mind you the oil diyas not the wax candles). I love the flames playing around in a dark room. Somehow it lifts my mood up, makes me calm and makes me believe that there is hope.

I am immediately reminded of the line, Tamosama jyotirgamay’ lead me from darkness to light. It also means coming out of ignorance to knowledge.  Always darkness is linked to ignorance. Lying down at night when sleep eludes, even the simplest problem looks gargantuan.  The same problem in the day time is minuscule.

I remember a similar prayer sung in school, ‘Lead kindly light amid encircling gloom’. The essence is the same, leading from ignorance to knowledge, from darkness to light. I have not had chance to study other religions but I am sure others too speak of the same truth. After all what is religion… its a means to advance to knowledge and erase the ignorance from our hearts.

Lord Krishna in the Bhagvad Gita Chapter 10 Text 11 says:

tesam evanukampartham
aham ajnana-jam tamah
nasayamy atma-bhava-stho
jnana-dipena bhasvata
Out of compassion for them, I, dwelling in their hearts, destroy with the shining lamp of knowledge the darkness born of ignorance.
In this shloka too darkness has been compared to ignorance.
We may think we are elevated, that we are ‘gyanis’ the knower of all truths but the fact is that we know very little. And that little itself is enough to make us puffed up with pride. But those who are humble enough to keep on serving the Lord come what may;  He himself lights the lamp of knowledge in his heart.
Such a simple formula.
So do I have the endurance to carry on against all odds? The illnesses, the material discomforts, the sudden doubts of faith? That time can only tell. Till then I will look on to the lamps in the altar and bring courage to the heart.
Tamso maa jyotirgamaya….Lead kindly light…..

 

 

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Filed under Essay, short musings