to end one’s life?
I take care to post at least once in both of my blogs in a week. But this week it has been difficult. My mind has been restless.
We become agitated when we see our kith and kin suffer from pain whether physical or mental. We cry out when we see kids being sick. Death whether near ones or acquaintances affects us. Accidental death, death by catastrophes, disease shake us up. But what when one decides to end one’s life. How do you feel?
I feel devastated. The guilt that I could not in any way help a person is enormous.
Long long back when I was in Mysore one of the girls in hostel committed suicide. I was a fresher that year. And she was in final year. The reasons why she took that extreme step is still unknown to me. Most of the girls were worried whether her ghost will roam the corridors. I don’t blame them, we were all young and naive. But I remained sleepless thinking why she could not confide in any of us. There were so many of us, didn’t she think anyone suitable enough to confide?
But who am I to judge? And who know what goes on in the minds of anybody.
The mind can be your worst enemy or your greatest friend. Learn to harness it and it can be your greatest boon, let it free and it becomes a curse
At one point or the other we all realize the futility of any relationship. Your friends, your family, your spouse maybe with you but they will not be always with you. I mean you change jobs, move houses or shift cities, friends distance and new friendships form. You may not be in consensus with your spouse all the time. Most of the relationships start with vigour ( even that with the partner), reach a plateau and then settle down to a cordial line. So don’t expect your friend to rush to your home when you shed a tear. But be happy that wherever she is she is there to listen to you. Speaking to someone sometimes is very therapeutic.
SO is a relationship in a marriage. Very often we think that our marriage will be the same as it was during our honeymoon. In 99% of the case, it will not be. It is not important that you always hold hands. What is important is that you are there for each other.
Patience, tolerance are virtues which are in the downswing today. But then very often these are the qualities which ho;d a relation together.
Another quality which is on the rise is the ‘I, me and myself’. we are so much bothered with our feelings, our pride, our self-worth that we do not care that the other person too needs the same.
You may be thinking that I have digressed. But no. Recently I have seen two suicides. And these thoughts are off shoots of those observations.
Krishna in the eighteenth chapter 65 shloka says:
man-mana bhava mad-bhakto
mad-yaji mam namaskuru
mam evaisyasi satyam te
pratijane priyo ‘si me
Always think of Me and become My devotee. Worship Me and offer your homage unto Me. Thus you will come to Me without fail. I promise you this because you are My very dear friend.
The point which gives me a lot of solace is that ‘you are my very dear friend. Of course he is talking to Arjuna but then ‘via’ Arjuna he is talking to all of us. So whether there is anyone for us or not. Krishna as Parmatma is always with us.
So technically we are not alone, never.
And then in the next shloka he goes on to say
mam ekam saranam vraja
aham tvam sarva-papebhyo
moksayisyami ma sucah
Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reaction. Do not fear.
We all make mistakes. After all we are humans. So instead of regretting one’s mistake and ending one’s life, it is better to know that Krishna is there for us. He is giving his assurance that do not fear, He will deliver from sinful reactions provided you surrender.So the points to remember always are:
- Krishna is a friend who is always with you
- We all err it is not uncommon.
- All relations have their ups and downs. Possessiveness will not fetch you anything
Being lonely, or regretting mistakes or thinking that your partner is not as loving as he was earlier are not reasons for suicide. In the Bhagavad Gita ,the Lord has said
CHAPTER 8 TEXT 5
anta-kale ca mam eva
smaran muktva kalevaram
yah prayati sa mad-bhavam
yati nasty atra samsayah
And whoever, at the time of death, quits his body, remembering Me alone, at once attains My nature. Of this there is no doubt.
As we see Krishna says that at the time of the death if anyone remembers him…..it means that when it is time for death. It does not say when you want to be dead. Each person has a prefixed time of death, when that moment arrives, one who thinks of HIM attains liberation.
No problem is so big that one has to end his/ her life. Laugh a little, read a little, be with positive people, chant. Let the moment pass but do not end your life.