As I shed tears, the better half asked,’ Do you want to please Krishna, yourself or the others?’ I stopped myself and thought hard.
this is not something new. Call me emotional or call me sensitive but I get hurt easily. Any relationship/friendship I put my 100% and then when I don’t see the same reciprocation, I get hurt.
Apart from the fact that I am a straight forward person, the other problem is that I get attached and the normal course when you get attached is that you start expecting. Now attachment with Expectation is a lethal combination. And try as I might,it is impossible for me at least at this juncture to remain unattached.
Now you may wonder why this rant. Well as it always happens I try to do the maximum for the family and friends but when I see them backbiting or let us say when things do not go as per my expectation I get upset. And as usual the tears flow
But then the husband said, ‘who are you trying to please?’ And that made me think. It made me think of this shloka.
nivasah saranam suhrt
prabhavah pralayah sthanam
nidhanam bijam avyayam
I always get a lot of strength from this shloka. Over a period of time I have realised there is nobody that is truly yours. In numerous instances you will find that your parents,your siblings, your spouse, your children and your friends all have different agendas. Though they may be with you theoretically, they are not really yours. The only person who is truly with you, with your ups and downs, being your witness, and giving you strength is the Parmatma. He guides you too that is if you are ready to listen. As soon as I this realisation came, I felt peaceful, the tears dried and I was ready to face the world again.