My friend

As I shed tears, the better half asked,’ Do you want to please Krishna, yourself or the others?’ I stopped myself and thought hard.

this is not something new. Call me emotional or call me sensitive but I get hurt easily. Any relationship/friendship I put my 100% and then when I don’t see the same reciprocation, I get hurt.

Apart from the fact that I am a straight forward person, the other problem is that I get attached and the normal course when you get attached is that you start expecting. Now attachment with Expectation is a lethal combination. And try as I might,it is impossible for me at least at this juncture to remain unattached.

Now you may wonder why this  rant. Well as it always happens I try to do the maximum for the family and friends but when I see them backbiting or let us say when things do not go as per my expectation I get upset. And as usual the tears flow

Being able to cry anywhere is a strength.  Not a weakness.  I'm not scared of feeling my emotions. I don't feel the need to hide and bottle them up. I AM a strong woman BECAUSE I cry.

courtesy: https://goo.gl/images/q5WESu

But then the husband said, ‘who are you trying to please?’ And that made me think. It made me think of this shloka.

gatir bharta prabhuh saksi
nivasah saranam suhrt
prabhavah pralayah sthanam
nidhanam bijam avyayam
TRANSLATION
I am the goal, the sustainer, the master, the witness, the abode, the refuge and the most dear friend. I am the creation and the annihilation, the basis of everything, the resting place and the eternal seed.(BG 9.18)

I always get a lot of strength from this shloka. Over a period of time  I have realised there is nobody that is truly yours. In numerous instances you will find that your parents,your siblings, your spouse, your children and your friends all have different agendas. Though they may be with you theoretically, they are not really yours. The only person who is truly with you, with your ups and downs, being your witness, and giving you strength is the Parmatma. He guides you too that is if you are ready to listen. As soon as I this realisation came, I felt peaceful, the tears dried and I was ready to face the world again.

 

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4 Comments

Filed under free writing, realization, Uncategorized

4 responses to “My friend

  1. When the goal is Lord Krishna our progress is guided and facilitated by Him as said in the slokam.He is the sustainer in keeping our goal constant and unswerved from the mundane hurdles and ensures our ultimately reaching the final refuge. When you have fixed Him as your goal, He is your loyal and thick friend and not like the fair- weather transitory friends we cultivate in this planet.
    A very inspiring sloka. Thank you.

  2. My friend”
    Your blog post is absolutely beautiful and touching, Bhagyashree Ji..Thanking you for the same.
    All may not know or appreciate the value of crying… Tears I feel are drops of nectar of the heart, our real wealth.. these come out to wash off our complains, anger, repentance and the sense of void to make us feel calm and peaceful.. Only then we see clearly how close our beloved Lord Krishna is to us.. the more his presence is felt the more eyes moisten..and the soul dwells in the abode of love..

    • Rightly said. I used to feel guilty that I cry easily and often it is taken to be the sign of weakness. But then Guru Maharaj says the path of bhakti is to make the heart soft and not otherwise2

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